MarySue
by Gothic Guardian
Summary: Finally! Some Jack! Ch0507 updated. A girl from our time gets sent back to the Black Pearl. Will Alicia be able to find her way home, when she has yet to find herself? The first four chapters are prologueesque. No actual PotCness 'til the fifth chapter.
1. Behind the Bully

Alicia Abraham stared out the second story window of her History class, boredom etched on her pale features. At six three, she was the tallest sixteen year old in her school. Which came in handy in her occupation as school bully. Half the time she didn't even come to class. When she did show up, she just stared out the window, or made snide comments that had nothing to do with the topic at hand. After all, she had a reputation to keep...

She had to work at that reputation, though. In grade school, _she_ was the one being bullied. Her pale skin made her susceptible to sunburn, so she had to avoid the sun most of the time. She wasn't very socially adaptable. As a kid, she hid under tables (and even in her locker a couple of times) just to avoid social contact or confrontation. That, of course, (coupled with her insane obsession with sci-fi /fantasy books) made her an easy target.

So, when she and her parents moved from her childhood home, she took it as the opportunity to change her entire persona. Her simple, modest, school—girl—esque wardrobe turned Goth, punk, death—metal. Her skirts got shorter and her tops higher. She replaced her geeky glasses with cat—pupil contacts. It took her a while to get used to being so exposed, but she adjusted.

Her family moved just after she finished sixth grade. That gave her the entire summer to revamp her life. By the time autumn rolled around, she couldn't even recognize herself. All summer, she practiced her new identity. She even talked her parents into letting her change the name on her school ID. At school, she was known simply as the 'Dark Denizen'. In class, she was acing the tests, and homework, so the teachers overlooked her outbursts.

Life seemed to become easier, the more aloof she became. The meaner she was to everyone else, the nicer they were to her... All she had to do was hide who she really was —— and what she truly felt —— and she was golden. No one messed with her in her new home.

As time passed, it became harder to hide who she was. She watched everyone scurry away from her, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. The memory of how it felt to be the object of someone else's fury would return to haunt each time she thought to turn her anger to them. She wanted to be powerful. She wanted to be the one in charge. Being feared was just part of the package. Not once did she actually hit anybody, though. Most of the trouble she caused was verbal. Once and a while she'd steal someone else's things, or hide their gym clothes from them. But she never kept the stuff. It would always turn up later in the 'Lost and Found' box.

At home, she was a completely different person. The clothes she wore were more like her old self. The cat contacts came out and her big anime—esque glasses sat precariously at the end of her nose. Posters of Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, X—Men, and X—Files lined her walls. Anime posters covered her ceiling. Her four—poster bed was nearly buried in handmade plushies. Her mom still brought her up milk and homemade cookies for an afternoon snack... And one wall was completely hidden from view by a bookcase. The entire wall—to—wall, floor—to—ceiling shelves were filled with books. Science Fiction, science fact, Fantasy, Preternatural Sciences, Xenobiology, Cryptozoology... Anything dealing with unusual circumstances, lined the said shelves.

Even her altar remained as it always had. Black curtains cordoned off that section of her room. The wooden altar itself stayed as orderly as usual. Sandalwood incense burned in its holder... The worn poem stayed taped to the wall, in the proper position for its effects to be fully utilized. "Bide the Wicca Reede ye must/ In perfect love and perfect trust/ Eight words the Wicca Reede fulfil/ 'An ye harm none, do what ye will'/ What ye sends forth comes back to thee/ so ever mind the Law of Three/ Follow this with mind and heart/ Merry ye meet, and merry ye part/".

Every morning and every evening, she'd recite those eight lines, before her prayers. She only hoped she wouldn't gather up too big of a karmic debt from her school life...

-----+\\\\\+-----

It was those eight words: "An ye harm none, do what ye will", that haunted her thoughts as she watched the bespectacled kid being bullied in the courtyard below. The bully was a muscular Junior, shoulder—length blond hair fluttering into his face from the light breeze. She recognized him from Homeroom. His name was Shawn... Something... He was on the Varsity Football team. That was about all she knew about him. Well, that and every female student (excluding herself) was hopelessly infatuated with him. It seemed that he found her disinterest interesting. He propositioned her numerous times, each time receiving the same response.

A picture of Gaston knocking on Belle's door in 'Beauty and the Beast' popped into her head. An involuntary laugh spilled from her black—painted lips. The whole class turned their focus nervously to her. An angry glare returned their attention away from her. A contented smirk tugged at the corners of her lips. There _were_ a few benefits of being feared...

She once more gazed down at the altercation in the courtyard. Gaston... err... _Shawn_ lifted the geeky freshman a foot off the ground, muscles straining under his skin—tight tee—shirt. 'He has nothing on Alucard... He'd be able to lift that kid with his little finger, no problem...' Her mind turned inward, to her escapist's world. The rest of the class, she was off in fantasy.

It wasn't until the bell rang, signifying the end of class, that she finally noticed Real Life. History was her last class, so the rest of the day was hers... The sense of freedom made an Alucard—like laugh to fall from her lips. The whole way home, she let her mind wander to various fandoms, even as the motorcycle's engine hummed beneath her.

Her parents were worried at first about her getting a 'bike, but she finally convinced them... It was one of the few things she and her alter ego shared. The feel of the wind in her face was just so invigorating. Alicia could appreciate the freedom as much as the 'Dark Denizen' could. As Jack Sparrow would say (well, he did in one of her fics, at least): "Freedom is what you make it. It's not 'just a ship' or 'just a horse'. It's an escape. True freedom is an escape _to_, not from. To happiness, to life... Freedom isn't escaping life, it's embracing it."

It's funny how Alicia Abraham could be so philosophical and 'Dark Denizen' so callous. "It's a shame I don't practice what I preach..." Her words were lost in the roar of the engine.

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-.--. . -. -.. --- ..-. .--. .-. --- .-.. --- --. ..- . -.--.-

I know, this doesn't sound like much of a PotC fanfiction yet... But this was only just the prologue. The next part is coming now... It just made sense to end here. Don't like it? Blame my bloody muse. He's been on a Cowboy Bebop mood lately. I was lucky to get this out. It's like pulling teeth lately... I swear! He's worse than I am about Edward. I even made a Bebop crew Sim 2 family to appease him. (This fic was my reward for that.) I just hope I can do as good a job with my Mary—Sue fic as Lykosdracos did... If you've not read it yet, go read "The Forgotten Gem". It's a wonderfully written Mary—Sue fic.

I know... "Good and Mary—Sue? Those don't go together..." But she made it work. So go read it (after you review this, of course).

**-(Cue Hellsing Theme)-**

Scully: That's different... It's usually our theme...

Me: Well, this is a different fic.

Mulder: Where did your pretty muse go?

Scully: **_-(glares at Mulder)- -(slap)-_**

Mulder: Ow... What was that for?

Scully: If you don't know, I can't tell you...

Me: That usually means you didn't have a valid reason for hitting him.

Ed: Hi, Hi!

Me: Hi, Hi, Ed.

Ed: Why is that lady angry?

Mulder: I'm wondering the same thing...

Me: Never mind... Now where's Alucard? He owes me a rain check...

Ed: **_-(Looks up)-_** No rain... I just checked...

Me: **_-(Anime Sweat—Drop)-_** I didn't mean that way... **_-(Yelling into the empty air)-_** ALUCARD! 'C'm'ere, please...

Alucard: **_-(Grinning his full—fanged grin)-_** Yes?...

Me: **_-(swoon)-_** **_-(with dreamy, half—stoned voice)-_** Hi... **_-(Ahem...)-_** You owe me... I've decided to collect.

Alucard: Fine by me. **_ -(lifts me into his arms)-_**

Ed: **_-(Watches intently)-_**

Me: Ed, I'd like you to meet my muse, Netalak.

Netalak: Oh... My... GreatOne... **_-(Looks admiringly at Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the fourth)- _**Can I have your autograph?...

Ed: **_-(questioningly)-_** Why?

Netalak: You are my favourite character of all the fandoms GG uses... **_-(Holds out notebook and pen)-_**

Ed: **_-(signs as Alucard and I escape to a more... private... locale)-_** Hey, where did that writer—person go?

Netalak: Oh... Um... She's... Indisposed. I guess I'll have to do the ending...

Netalak: Oh... This is the end. You can stop reading now... Please post a review once you've read this piece of work. All characters are the property of their respective owners. Except for me, Alicia Abraham, and GG. We belong to ourselves...

Ed: But Alicia isn't real...

Netalak: Right... She's the property of Gothic Guardian. As is her alter ego: Dark Denizen. If you want to use either of them, ask GG. Or me, if she's still busy with that Vampyre freak...

Me: **_-(Yelling from elsewhere)-_** Watch it!

Netalak: I mean... As long as she's indisposed, I can give you permission.

Netalak: **_THE END!_**


	2. Plot Bunny fun

Alicia parked her motorcycle in the garage and hurried to her room. On the ride home she had caught a particularly fascinating Plot Bunny. PotC, of course... That's all the stories she'd been writing, as of late. So she wanted to write it down as soon as she could, to keep it protectively entrapped as she wrote her story. She turned on her computer and typed in her password: 'F4nd0m'.

The familiar "The truth is out there, Scully" Windows opening sounded, and her usual fanatical grin crossed her face. She began humming the "He's a Pirate" tune from the PotC movie as she opened up her Corel Word Perfect 'story outline' file.

Title: "Um..." Ship Shape. "That sounds good."

Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean. "Duh..."

Genre: "I'll have to get back to you on that..."

Genre II: Mary—Sue. "That counts as a Genre, right?"

Pairing: J/A. "Obviously." And OFC/... "Hmmm..." Norrington. "That way, I can write a Mary—Sue and not have to worry about having to screw up that OTP..." "And maybe a bit of" OFC/J Unrequited. "That way, Jack and Ana will still be a couple, but my Mary—Sue still can fall in love with him. I mean, who _doesn't_ love Captain Jack Sparrow?"

Summary: A girl, named Mary—Sue Edwards (profile to be included), is on a cruise. A storm brews up and she falls overboard. After what seems like forever of fighting the frigid water and the churning waves, she feels herself start to lose consciousness. Just as the last of her vision is overcome by obsidian, she feels a pair of strong hands pulling her from the water.

She wakes in darkness. The gentle rocking of waves reassures her that she made it out of the storm alive... But thanks to whom, she could not say. She allows the mild movement to guide her into a more restful slumber.

The next time she awakens, it's due to the sun, glaring at her from the window across the cabin. She opens her eyes cautiously, and sees a Spartan, wood—panelled room. The bed she was laying on, a mahogany desk with a matching chair, and a round cedar table surrounded with four similarly styled chairs, were all that filled the room. The window had no drapes, the chairs had no cushions, and her bed had only a thin sheet covering it.

Well, she knew she wasn't in the cruise ship's infirmary. Whether she was in an infirmary at all, was doubtful. Sitting up, she runs a hand through her long, now dry, tangled brown hair. She notices that her denim short shorts and yellow spaghetti strap top are missing. In their place is a full—length, lacy, white dress. A quick check assures her that she is at least still wearing her bikini.

She begins wondering just where on earth she is. And who her rescuers are. She swings her legs over the side of the bed and stands up, only to fall back down. It took her a moment to gain her sea legs. When she does, she crosses the cabin to the door. Just as she opens it, a man enters. It's Norrington. She nearly falls into him as a wave hits. He helps her to one lf the chairs around the table, sitting in one next to her.

He inquires about her health and wellbeing, as well as her identity. She introduces herself, and he does the same. Th

"Alicia... Dinner." Alicia's mother's voice called up from the foot of the stairs. 'And when I was just getting into it, too.' She hit _save as_, labelled her file as "Ship—Shape.outline.doc", and turned off her monitor before rushing to her meal.

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-.--. . -. -.. --- ..-. -.-. ... .- .--. - . .-. --- -. . -.--.-

Again, not much PotCness to it... Sorry. But I must first build the foundation before building the ship (or building, or whatever).

This A/N will be short. Promise... In fact, I'll skip the paragraph stuff and just let my Muse take over.

"**NETALAK!"**

**-(Cue Hellsing Theme)-**

Netalak: What? You that eager to get back to your Vampy plaything?

Me: Yes... I mean I just thought I'd be nice... I _was _gonna have Ed—Ed join you...

Netalak: **_(-Eagerly-)_** Really? **_(-Ahem-)_** I mean... That would be kind of you. Which is _so_ not your style.

Scully: So I'd say, yeah, she probably is just vibrating in place to get back to Alucard.

Mulder: You mean like you——

Scully: **_(-Slams hand over Mulder's mouth before he could finish-)_** _Don't_ go there, Mulder. Not if you value your life.

Ed: Hi, Hi, everybody!

Netalak: Wow... It's you again...

Ed: Um... You're weird.

Scully: Like master, like Muse.

_**(-Suddenly all of Scully's clothes disappear, replaced a with sheer, pink bodysuit.-)**_

Mulder: I'm glad _I'm_ not on her bad side...

Scully: Shut up, Mulder!

Netalak: Yeah... Please kindly click on the review button once you've finished reading this.

Scully: Yes, complain about our mistreatment. Please save us... Make her stop...! **_(- The bodysuit vanishes as well.-)_**

Mulder: **_(-While futilely attempting to cover Scully-)_** Can you just finish this already?

Ed: Right! Read, Read, and Review! Please be nice, though... That might happen to you, too.

Netalak: I doubt GG will curse the clothes off of one of her loyal readers just because their review was less than friendly...

_**(-Netalak shrinks from a seven foot tall gargoyle—esque Shadow, to a two foot tall Hobbit-)**_

Netalak: Is it too late to change my answer?

Ed: Bye, Bye!


	3. A Lost Art

Alicia finished her dinner as quickly as she could, practically choking down her food. When she was satisfactorily full, she raced back up the stairs like Father Alexander Anderson was on her tail.1

She payed little attention to the door as she kicked it closed behind her. All thoughts were on her PB. With a crack of her knuckles, she pressed the power button on her monitor. Her usual screensaver still covered her screen with a montage of images from various fandoms. A soft sigh spilled from her lips as a picture of Jack appeared. Almost regretfully, she moved the mouse, stopping the screensaver. The pointer landed on her shortcuts folder, opening it. One quick click and she'd be back to her story outline.

She clicked on her file, eager to finish. There were just so many ideas running through her head. The file opened, but instead of her prior work, there was a poem. One she wrote ages ago... She wrote it three months into her Freshman year of High school. How could a file two and a half years old replace one less than a half an hour old?

_**Lost Soul**_

_The world is dark_

_The end is nigh_

_Sorrow owns my heart_

_Tears, they own my eyes_

_When all sins are forgiven_

_But too expensive be repentance_

_And death the only way,_

_Life goes on, or does it?_

_Whose life?_

_As shadows creep around me_

_Twilight gives way to the night_

_Sobs begin to rack my body_

_And the blood pours from my eyes_

_Sunlight is my ending,_

_Shadows my only friends,_

_Then why, now, do I fear them_

_As I long now for my bane?_

_Just once more, I yearn_

_To bask in the golden glow_

_To feel once again_

_Something other than mistrust_

_Love, joy, understanding_

_I long to just once know_

_How can a frozen heart of fire_

_Learn to hold another?_

_Denial, deceit, destruction_

_I've thrived on for too long_

_Imprisoned in a shameful soul_

_With sturdy bars of guilt_

_I'm not who I should be_

_I'm not who I am_

_I bury all my goodness_

_Under lies and scorn_

_I hated who I was_

_I wanted to be me_

_But now I just wish things back_

_To the way they used to be_

_I've fallen into an abyss_

_Built by my own self doubt_

_Now I'm trapped and drowning_

_With no means to get out_

_A hidden surface,_

_Which way is up?_

_All around me, pressure_

_The crushing, black oblivion_

_Holding me under_

_Anger fills my mind_

_And sympathy fills my heart_

_I laugh at your misfortune_

_As it's tearing me apart_

_I don't know just who I am_

_I can't find where I'm going_

_A dusty, lonely, broken trail_

_Is the path I'm on._

_Why am I...? What am I?_

_A simple lost soul?_

_Am I truly human?_

_Or has my humanity been forsaken?_

_What right do I have to hold grudges?_

_When I anger so many myself..._

_But, somehow, I manage_

_To hate myself enough_

She couldn't even remember why she wrote it. It kind of sounded like the narration was from a Vampyre's PoV... But then not... And where was her fanfic outline!

Running her cursor to the Windows "Start" button, she ran a search for her story. The search turned up nothing. Not even the story (or poem as it were) that she had open. Frustrated, she tried everything she could think of, even going so far as to restart her computer. **_Twice_**. But nothing worked. Her work was gone.

Angrily, she threw herself to her bed, ignoring the plushies that fell to the floor. Frustrated tears streamed from her eyes, smearing her black eyeliner. Grabbing one of the stuffed toys surrounding her, she punched it. The happy smile just made her resentment grow. She had worked so hard on that. Now she can't even remember what was supposed to happen...

She threw the plushie across the room. The next one she picked up was Alucard. With his signature malicious grin in place, she could almost hear his laughter. She pictured what he would say to her if he saw her that way.

"Tsk, tsk." She imagined him traverse her room, picking up the plushie she threw. "Throwing a temper tantrum? That's not very becoming of you..." He tossed the stuffed toy back onto her bed. He continued chastising her, but she began losing consciousness.

A big yawn and she was out like a light...

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-.--. . -. -.. --- ..-. -.-. ... .- .--. - . .-. - .-- --- -.--.-

As always, it may be short, but I'm doing my best. R&R!

A quick explanation: 1Alexander Anderson is a vicious "Freak Slayer" in the Hellsing series. He works for the Catholic Church, in the Vatican. The secret organization that controls him is known as Section XIII. A member of the rival organization to Hellsing (which is Protestant), Anderson is a regenerate. He's tried numerous times to kill Alucard. **_(-Netalak: And we all know how much you love him...-)_** Shut up... But each time, Alucard has been victorious! **_(-Put cute smiley, with anime wink, here -)_**

**-(Cue Hellsing Theme)-**

Netalak: I feel sorry for you...

Me: Why?

Scully: Because you feel the need to measure your life's worth by a scale derived from fictitious lives?

Mulder: Because your Muse has turned from a beautiful Muse to an ugly gargoyle like being?

Ed: 'Cause you can't do nearly half the stuff you want to because it doesn't exist?

Netalak: **_(-Quite sore about the ugly Muse comment-)_** No! **_(-Calming himself-)_** It's because you have no life.

Me: Yes I _do_! It's just not one you'd understand...

Alucard: I'm sure _I_ could understand...

Me: **_(-Fanatical gleam in my eyes-)_** Of course _you_ would... You are, after all, my _soul—mate_.

Netalak: Which is funny considering he has no soul.

Me: You, Shut Up!

Ed: That wasn't very nice...

Me: Well, I'm not feeling very nice right now.

Alucard: I'm sure _I_ could make you feel better.

Ed: How?

Scully, Mulder, Netalak, and Me: Maybe when you're older.

Alucard (at the same time): I was planning on... Cheering her up.

Ed: _**(-Anime sweat—drop-) **How_?

Alucard: By distracting her.

Other four: **_(-Give warning looks.-)_**

Me: **_(-Whispers to Alucard-) _**Trust me, I know what'll happen if innocent Ed's mind gets corrupted. It's not pretty.

Spike Spigel: _Please_, don't do or say anything that'll make her worse than she already is...

Ed: Ohio, Spike—Person!

Spike: **_(-Pleadingly-) _Please**...

Alucard: **_(-Thinking-)_** Perhaps...

Me: Please?... **_(- Puppy—dog eyes-)_**

Ed: How will telling me how you're gonna help her make me bad?

Scully: Never mind.

Mulder: I think we should end here, before anybody loses their sanity.

Netalak: Too late...

Me: Just _put_ the gun down... It's not worth it! You have so much to live for...

Netalak: **_(-Confused-)_** What _are _you talking about?

Me: Sorry... I got a bit carried away there.

Scully: If only someone _would_ carry you away. To a white padded room. And just to be sure, I think they should put a nice comfy white jacket on you.

Me: They already tried that. I scared them into letting me go.

Mulder: I'd believe it...

Netalak: Just go back to your Vampyre sex—slave and I'll finish up here.

Ed: Sex—slave, Next day, go away...

Scully: **_(- To me-)_** Please do.

Ed: All the children are out to play...

Me: Fine! Let's go, Alucard. I can see we're not wanted _here_.

Alucard: As you wish...

Netalak: **_(-Shudders-)_** That's just disturbing. **_(-Ahem-)_** Please review this story... And complain about GG's inappropriate behaviour.

Mulder: The Ed... I mean, The End!

Ed: Bye—Bye!


	4. Wet Dream?

Alicia opened her eyes, shutting them almost immediately. She had to be dreaming. Her eyes stung. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't feel anything but crushing, frigid, oblivion.

She knew she was still asleep. How could the air around her suddenly gain suffocating viscosity? Her body began fighting for reprieve, claustrophobia setting in. It took all her strength to stop struggling. Her surroundings were due to natural electronic brain activity. She read that poem about drowning in her own guilt. Then she went to bed angry. Her superconscious was just trying to tell her something.

She redirected her focus to the logic of the situation. The distraction kept her panic down. If she stuck to the facts, she wouldn't have to worry about the burning in her lungs...

'If only I could just wake up.' They say that when you dream about someone dieing, they'll live longer. 'Wonder if it applies to dreaming your own death.' Her thoughts were so clinical. She was dieing —— Stars were illuminating her sight (through her closed eyes) —— yet she remained detached.

Her thoughts became fuzzy and disjointed. The building pain in her body began fading, as though she were feeling it over a distance. A sudden peace filled her, drowning out everything else. Consciousness faded into pure darkness... Life spilled from her like sand through her fingers.

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See? We're finally nearing the introduction of the PotC—verse.

As always, the only entities I don't own insofar are the reference characters of the prior chappies. _This_ one is all mine.

Netalak: What about your skits?

Oh, the characters in those aren't mine. 'Sides me, myself, and I. Netalak is his own Muse—Person.

You may be wondering what Mulder's been obsessing about with my Muse mismatch... My Star Trek Muse is a tall, busty, red—head, named Caitiri. As a tribute to her, I used her as the mother of my main character 'Pyra' in my ST fic. Netalak is another of my Muses.

Mulder: So I have to wait 'til you get around to writing another chapter of "Second Chances"?

Me: Yup. And I'd be cautious of how dejected you sound... Scully's glaring...

Scully: **_(-Cracking knuckles-)_** Mulder, can I see you in private a moment?

Mulder: **_(-Nervously-)_** Actually I'm... **_(-Notices Scully's rage-)_** Okay... **_(-Looks around, pleadingly-) _** Um... Can I get a Kevlar vest, first?...

Scully: **_(-Grabs Mulder by the forearm and drags him away-)_**

Ed: Guess not.

_**(-The sound of punches, slaps, and other such violence is heard from the direction the former FBI agents went-)**_

Spike: I wonder who's worse to get angry... "GG" or Scully. By the way, what does GG stand for?

Netalak: Gothic Guardian. Though sometimes I think it might stand for ——

Ed: Gargantuan Goat?

Netalak: **_(-Sniggering-)_** No. But good one. I was thinking more along the lines of the "Green Goblin" from Spiderman.

Spike: I like Ed's better.

Me******_ (-Slaps Spike-)_**

Jack **(Sparrow, of course)**: Tha' was undeserved.

Me: You want some, too?

Jack: **_(-Dirty Grin-)_** I would, luv, but I don' want to make Ana jealous.

Anamaria: _(-Tapping foot impatiently-)_ _What_ was that?

Jack: Nothing

_**(-Mulder and Scully return, the former beaten to within an inch of his life.-)**_

Ed: Hi, hi!

Mulder: **_(-Clothes shredded-)_** I _really_ with I had that Kevlar vest.

_**(-The remnants of Mulder's shirt flutter to the ground-)**_

Faye Valentine: **_(-Wipes drool from her mouth-)_** Hi...

Scully: **_(-Clenches fists-)_** Back off, bitch.

Ed: **_(-Anime sweat—drop.-)_** Uh, oh...

Mulder: **_(-Pulls Scully into his arms to keep her from pulverizing someone else-)_** Calm down...

Scully: **_(-Steam rising from ears.-)_** Why should I?

Netalak: Don't you think she's acting a bit OoC?

Me: **_(-Punches Jet Black, who just walked up.-)_** No I don't.

_**(-Jet doubles over in pain-)**_

Netalak: Now _that's_ in character. For you at least...

Jet: What was that for?

Me: I just felt like it.

_**(-Jet opens his mouth to respond-)**_

Me: Say anything and I'll give you more pain than you ever thought imaginable.

Netalak: I'm not saying that you're not usually violent and insane... But what's up with you today?

Me: NoYB...

Everyone Else There: !

Me: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS...

Ed: **_(-Snoring-)_**

Netalak: I think she's trying to tell us —— in her own strange way —— that we should just end this already.

Me: FINE! The end... Better?

Scully: What about that "Read and review" thing?

Me: You just said it, so what's the problem?

Netalak: **_(-Huge Anime Sweat—Drop-)_**

Ein **(The dog on Bebop)**: 'Til Next Time...


	5. The Morning After

The glare of sunlight woke Alicia. Her head throbbed, her chest hurt, and the room felt as if it were moving. No wonder she had such a horrid dream... She was sick.

She reached across the bed for her glasses —— which should have been lying on the nightstand. She nearly fell off the bed, however. Her nightstand was missing.

"I must be losing it..." With a groan, she struggled to get back onto the bed fully. The entire room was one big, brown blur. "I _need_ my glasses..." She rubbed her eyes, trying to clear her vision. 'Bah!'

Her body was still throbbing. She let her eyes drift closed. Maybe she'd feel better if she had some more sleep...

**_(-Bang-)_** The door to her room slammed against the wall behind it. A blurry figure stood in the entryway, panting heavily. "Aye, Cap'n, she's still 'ere." The decidedly male voice called out hoarsely. Alicia could here the sound of gunfire from behind the man in the doorway.

Her scientific mind couldn't grasp what her senses were telling her. If only she had her glasses... She'd be able to clear up all the questions she had about the situation. "Excuse me." Her tone was soft, nervous. She cleared her throat, getting into her Dark Denizen mindset. "Do you mind telling me who you are? And perhaps where we are...? Or at least help me find my glasses. I seem to have lost them." She put her tough—girl air on. The Dark Denizen was going to handle things for now...

"The name's Gibbs. 'M th' Quartermaster o' this here ship... As t' where we are... I'm no' right sure. We're on the open seas somewhere. The' Cap'n's not told us our destination, yet." Familiarity hit Alicia. Gibbs?... 'And let me guess, the Captain's name is'

"Captain Jack Sparrow." The voice of many a fan—girl's dream came from somewhere near Gibbs. "Glad to see you've rejoined the ranks of the livin'. We were beginning to think you'd sleep to death..." Alicia nearly melted at the sound of that drunken speech. If only she could see him. "When Anamaria rescued you, something fell from your person. Now, I'm usually a very dishonest man... But I couldn't figure out what it was, or of what importance it was, so..."

The sound of her glasses landing on the bedding by her leg caught her off—guard. This was turning out to be the strangest dream in her recollection. At least she could see her beloved Jack, now. After a few moments of feeling around for her spectacles, they were finally once more perched at the end of her pert nose. "By the Gods..." With her sight returned, she could properly see her surroundings. Jack leaned against the wall closest to the door. Gibbs stood all but blocking the aforementioned door, superstitious fear etched in his sea—worn features. A DD smirk slipped as the old pirate crossed his chest. As if _she_ was evil...

"Luv, you'll 'ave to excuse me mate here. He's a sailor. A superstitious lot, all of 'em. He's no exception." The sparsely decorated room matched the description she wrote in her summary. Though, the decorous design of the chairs was a bit more ornate than she had thought... Then a thought struck her. 'Be careful what you wish for...' glancing down at her clothing, she noticed that she was still in her own (damp) clothing. At least they didn't change her in her sleep like Mary—Sue.

A few other discrepancies floated to her pounding head. Like her OFC was rescued by Norrington, not Jack... Not that she was complaining. Actually, the difference was for the better.

Well, except for the minor details, like unsanitary conditions and lack of clean water. Alicia Abraham was _definitely_ not the scouting type. The only time she'd ever been camping, she stayed in a log cabin. And even that was a stretch... A whole week without her beloved Anime or Sci-Fi... It was Hellacious. She spent nearly every waking moment reading or searching for demonic entities. At least the camping trip had books and working amenities. She could almost see the Sim—like green fumes drifting off her body. Gods what she wouldn't do for a nice hot shower and her laptop...

A tremendous wave shook the ship, returning her to the present... Past...? Whatever. "'Scuse me a moment." Jack left —— presumably to return to manning the helm. Gibbs hurriedly followed, the door swinging shut behind him. He was probably afraid to be alone with her... After all, she just all but shouted that she was a Witch to him. The sound of a cannon being fired echoed in the room.

Curiosity over who the crew of _The_ _Black Pearl_ was fighting got the better of her, so she got to her feet, eager to explore her surroundings. The movement of the ship was a challenge to keep balance on —— in fact she nearly fell a number of times —— but she eventually reached the door. Clinging to the wall as her life—line, she opened the door a crack. Smoke fogged the scene —— which was one of immense violence. All over, guns flashed, as opposing sides continued fighting. People lay everywhere... Some were only wounded, clutching their injuries with their dirty hands. Many more lay there dead, blood pooling beneath their still forms. A blue—coated soldier tumbled down the stairs toward her, a knife embedded in his chest. Before Alicia had a chance to even react, the soldier fell into the door, swinging it open.

An involuntary scream slipped from her as the soldier landed at her feet. She thought she was used to blood... She was obsessed with Alucard (to the point of attempting Vampyrism with her goth friend in junior high), how much more used to blood could you get? But the sight of the dieing man in front of her made her queasy. "Guess I'm not gonna get to become the next Scully after all..."

With effort, the man pushed himself to a kneeling position. Instinctively, Alicia helped him to the bed. Something about him seemed familiar —— she recognized him from the movie, though she couldn't recall exactly who he was —— but she put trying to figure out who he was aside until she knew whether he was going to live or die.

She had a rudimentary knowledge of medicine (after all, she wanted to be a forensic pathologist when she finished school), most likely better than a majority of the people above—deck. Upon a closer inspection, the knife wound wasn't as bad as she thought. The blade was embedded to the hilt, but it missed anything vital. She tore off the edge of her black cotton tee—shirt, wadding it up before quickly removing the weapon. As soon as the knife was clear of the flesh, she pressed the fabric firmly against the open wound. "I could use some help about now..." She whispered under her breath.

With one hand holding the cloth against his wound, she used the knife she pulled from his body to cut the cloth away from the injured area. That way his skin wouldn't heal over his shirt and jacket, and she'd also have more cloth to wrap the wound with... Somehow, she doubted Jack would give her supplies to tend to an enemy soldier...

From the door behind her, she heard a gasp, followed by another familiar voice. "Gillette..." The sound of footsteps told her that the man was approaching. "Miss..." His voice was now right behind her.

"With your knife, cut this cloth into two inch strips." She didn't even bother turning, she just tossed the cut up shirt and jacket behind her. "He was lucky. The knife only pierced his right shoulder... It may take a while 'til he can use that arm —— if he ever regains the use at all —— but at least he'll live." She reached her left hand behind her, right one still keeping pressure on the wound. 'Alicia vanished somewhere between the door and the bed, Dark Denizen was the one giving the orders...' Alicia told herself.

A few strips were handed to her, and she went to work making sure the strips of cloth would give enough pressure to the wound. She spent most of the time in silence, almost forgetting the battle outside or the man behind her... But when the injury was all tended to, she had no choice to slip back into reality, or whatever semblance of reality she was in at the moment.

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-.--. . -. -.. --- ..-. -.-. ... .- .--. - . .-. ..-. --- ..- .-. -.--.-

What do you know? It actually is a PotC fic... And you were getting worried that it wasn't... This A/N will, per usual (for this fic at least), be short. Alicia is NOT schitzo — Multiple-Personality-Disorder — Psychotic... She actually just uses the Dark Denizen persona as an excuse to act as she normally wouldn't. MPD is a defence mechanism, yes, but the person suffering from MPD isn't aware of what their other personalities do, or (sometimes) even that they have alternate personalities. Each personality has different memories, experiences, name, posture, mentality, walk, (sometimes) sexual preference, and occasionally even gender... Alicia is quite aware of what she does as DD, and is still herself. DD is just a mask of sorts... Like being an actor and getting into character. You're still you, but now you act a different way, walk and talk differently... Dark Denizen is just a character.

Telomeric: **_(-Yawning lazily-)_** I thought you said you were going to keep it short...

Me: Can it. I let you in here, so behave or you're out of here...

**-(Cue Hellsing Theme)-**

Mulder: You forgot to put that in the last chapter...

Me: **_(-Sarcastically-)_** Oh, no... The world gonna end...

Fire—Claw: You know I'm usually the last one to say this, but lighten up... What's _wrong_ with you?...

Ed: **_(-In reference to Fire—Claw-)_** Ooo... Pretty kitty... **_(-Goes to pet my vicious Black Panther spirit guide-)_**

Telomeric: I wouldn't touch her if you value your fingers... **_(-Stretches, obviously looking to steal the attention away from his ornery mate-)_** But _I'm_ friendly...

Mulder: Wow... A pair of talking big cats. Fascinating. How do they talk?

Scully: **_(-Exasperatedly-)_** Mulder, you should know by now not to try to find reason in GG's psychosis... Her insane mentality can make _anything_ happen here...

Ed: **_(-pets both of my felinoid Spirit Guides-)_** Nice kitties... **_(- Telo purrs and twitches leg.-)_**

Netalak: **_(-Glares viciously at my spirit Guides-)_** How _dare_ you take my Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV away from me!

Remaining characters: **_(-Anime Sweat Drop-)_**

Me: Netalak, three things... One— you do not (!), and I repeat –NOT– _own_ Ed... Two— your obsessiveness is becoming bothersome...

__

Netalak: And three...?

Me: What? ... ... Oh! And Three— ... Got any Rum...?

Netalak: **_(-Anime Sweat Drop-) _**Riiiggghhhttt... **_(-Gives the other characters an "I think my Master's gone crazy" look.-) _**Whatever you say...

Me: **_(-Lost in my own little world, the State of Insanity.-)_** Welcome to the State of Insanity... I am the Empress, Gothic Guardian... Everyone is welcome here... As long as you follow a few simple rules...

Scully: I think Alice has once again fallen down the rabbit hole...

Me: **_(-Still in Insanity-)_** Rule one: No flames... Insanity is made of highly flammable material. One little spark and you'll be facing a huge blaze in seconds... Rule two:

Spike: **_(-Finally appearing from elsewhere-)_** Did I miss something? Or do I not _want_ to know...?

Scully: I've been here the whole time, and I _still_ have no clue...

Me: **_(-SiI (Still in Insanity)-)_** What happens in Insanity _is_ admissible in the American Court System... So, don't _try_ getting into trouble... But your range isn't as limited here... Remember that. Rule three: All secrets are to be kept in the Secret Vault. Its location _is_, of course, secret... But you can make deposits in our Word Bank. All withdrawals must be co—signed by the person it is about (and/or the one who made the deposit). Personal secret withdrawals must be approved by the Bank's manager Mr. M. Webster. Merriam will be sure to take care of your secrets with the utmost secrecy. Processing of Trade Secrets takes about five to eight unbusy days...

Ed: **_(-To Spike-)_** Can I go to Insanity? It sounds friendly...

Mulder: This girl's got too much time on her hands.

Alucard: **_(-Sexy Vampyre grin-)_** I can change that...

Netalak: NO! **_(-Shudders-)_** That's quite alright.

Me: **_(-SiI-) _**Rule four:

Alucard: **_(-With his sexy Vampyre control voice-)_** I think that's enough for now...

Me: **_(-SiI-)_** Any **_(-Noticing Alucard-)_** Oh, hi Alucard... **_(-Once more in Insanity-)_** Any littering is illegal. Unless you're littering into a trash receptacle. **_(-Realizing Alucard is standing beside me-) (-Swoony voice-)_** Hii Alucard...

Alucard: I think you need a break... **_(-Lifts me into his arms for some... Distraction-)_**

Netalak: I'm not sure whether to be relieved or disgusted... I mean it's _Alucard_.

Telomeric: Just relax, Netty. Think of it this way: If she does him, she's not a virgin and won't be turned into a Vampyre. So she there won't be any chance of her becoming one of those "Freaks."... (-Rolls over so Ed can scratch his belly-)

Spike: **_(- Confused-)_** Why is that Panther talking? And more importantly, Ed... Get away from it before it mauls you to death...

Ed: Telo and Fire are nice... Well, Telo is... They like being petted.

Mulder: **_(- To Spike-)_** Don't inquire... You'll never like the answer when GG's concerned...

Scully: I'm just glad she went on her little vacation to her Land of Psychosis and left _us_ alone.

Fire Claw: It's State of Insanity. And it is a real place... At least in this universe.

Telomeric: And so I get the last word... This is the end. Please leave a review at the door when you collect your coats... Gothic Guardian appreciates all the input she can get from her fans...

Scully: _Fans_? She has _fans_!

Spike: I'd be surprised if she had friends. **Fans**? That's just _too_ impossible.

Telomeric: **_(Angrily to Scully and Spike-)_** Yes, she has _fans_. **_(- Directing back to reader-)_** Thanks!

Scully: I'd bet she has a ton of fans... They keep her cool in the summer.

Telomeric: Okay this is it. The end. I'm finally having the last word...

Ed: Bye—bye.

_(-Telo curls up into a ball and starts weeping-)_

Telomeric: All I wanted was to have the last word...

Faye: You just did...

Telomeric: **_(-Perking up-)_** I did? **_(-Faye nods-) _**Yay! Now nobody else say _anything!_

**THE END!**

Telomeric: **_NOOOOOOOOO!_**


	6. Is There A Doctor In The House

Alicia picked up the bloody knife from its place next to the man she removed it from. Then she turned away from the bed she woke up in not so long ago, and the man occupying it. The man who was helping her stood a bit too close for comfort. As she turned from her patient, she bumped into Commodore Norrington. A blush coloured her cheeks from the close proximity. She hated it when anyone invaded her personal space (which was, honestly, about a yard), and it was even worse because she had nowhere to turn. The bed was behind her —— she felt it against her legs —— and the esteemed Commodore was practically on top of her.

"Do you mind?" She didn't mean to be so short with him, but she really didn't like anyone standing so close. Though he, himself, seemed just as uncomfortable; if the expression his usually stoic face wore was any indication. He took two quick steps back, eyes glancing to her left hand.

She followed his gaze to the reddened blade. Aside from the crimson fluid congealing on it, it was quite lovely. She could only wish for one this beautiful. Its hilt was bronze coloured, crafted with a more ornate version of Jack's sparrow tattoo. "Jack wouldn't..." The words were mumbled to herself, and if the Commodore heard them, he didn't acknowledge them.

She glanced behind her, to the soldier's injury. Nothing vital was hit. More than likely, the hit made him lose balance and his fall caused more damage than the wound itself... Jack Sparrow either aimed well —— and he meant only to hurt —— or he aimed to kill and just missed. For the sake of the idealization of her beloved captain, she chose the former. If it was the latter, she didn't want to know. In some cases, ignorance truly _was_ bliss.

Norrington obviously didn't agree. Rage flared in his eyes for a moment before he regained control. "Sparrow needs to be held responsible for his crimes." His fists clenched briefly, belying his attempts at a calm façade.

"He didn't mean to kill him. The phaser was set to stun... I mean, the wound was only meant to stun." 'Gods do I watch too much Star Trek.' "I'm sure he'll survive the knifing. But I'm not too terribly sure if he has a concussion... I can't really recall how to check that when the person's unconscious." A memory flitted passed her mind. She physically reached for it, confusing the Commodore. All she could recall was a man using gunpowder on a wound to cauterize it and stop the bleeding. Just as she caught a glimpse of the gunpowder flashing on the open wound, the memory flitted away again. But she knew what she could do to help him heal more quickly...

"Give me your gun." He hesitated at her command, unsure of what to make of it. "I need the gunpowder." Again, he just stood there, confused and cautious. "I'm going to use it to seal his cut, okay?"

With a guarded air, he finally conceded and pulled his gun out of its place in his belt. "Don't move..." Unbeknownst to either of them, Anamaria had silently entered the room to check on Alicia. She had come in just in time for Norrington to decide to give up his firearm. "Put the gun down, and put your hands on your head." The commanding tone in her voice left no doubt in their minds that she'd shoot him if he didn't comply.

The weapon clattered to the floor and the Commodore raised his hands, turning to face his assailant.

The entire room froze, as if in a bizarre tableau, as the sound of a gunshot echoed through the room.

-----+\\\\\+-----

-.--. . -. -.. --- ..-. -.-. ... .- .--. - . .-. ..-. .. ...- . -.--.-

Yay, another chapter! That took far too long. I had to redo it three dozen times because it kept screwing up. Damn corrupt files...

Telomeric: **_(-Lazily-)_** You only rewrote it twice. Stop exaggerating; it's not becoming.

Fire—Claw: Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?

Telomeric: **_(-Defensively-)_** I'm _not_ on pot! Who've you been talking to?

Ed: Pots? Who's cooking? Ed Ed's hungry...

Scully: **_(-To Ed-)_** Never mind. **_(-To Telo-)_** I don't know how the law applies to noncorporeal... creatures, such as yourself, but I know possession of illicit substances _is_ a crime. No matter who you are.

Mulder: **_(-Comes into view holding a joint-)_** Hey, Scully, you want some? (-**_Holds the joint out to her.-)_**

Scully: **_(-Smacks drug out of his hand-) (-In Molly Weasley tone-)_** _What_ do you think you're doing!

Fred Weasley: Wow, she's like a younger, prettier version of mum.

Me: _(-Slightly disoriented-)_ Huh? Sorry, I was busy listening to a song... Gods, how I love angsty country music... (-Starts singing along to Kenny Chesney's song "The Good Stuff"-)

_**(-All other characters —— accept Ed —— cover ears in pain-)**_

_**(-The song goes off and a Shania Twain song comes on.-)**_

Me: **_(-Imitating the other character's recent activities-)_** Oh, Gods, make it stop!

Alucard: **_(-Turns off radio-)_**

Me: Thanks. **_(-Stares longingly at Alucard-)_**

Alucard:**_ (-Toothy grin-)_** Not a problem...

Netalak: Okay, break it up! **_(-Stepping between Alucard and me-) _**Get control of yourself.

Me: **_(-Goes out of sight to pout-)_**

Telomeric: Anyways... Read, review, etcetera, etcetera. Bye!

Ed: Bye, Bye!

Telomeric: Must we go through this again?

__

Telomeric: Good. THE END! Now review!


	7. An Interesting Turn Of Events

The entire room froze, as if in a bizarre tableau, as the sound of a gunshot echoed through the room.

An uncomfortable sounding gurgle spilled from the female pirate's lips. Blood trickled out of the corner of her mouth. Anamaria wiped it away with the back of her hand, before collapsing in an unconscious heap on the floor.

Alicia gasped, eyes following Ana's body to the floor. The whole thing took mere seconds, though it felt to Alicia to have happened in slow motion. She made a move to help the fallen pirate, but froze in place as another familiar figure stepped through the open doorway.

Murtogg (or was it Mullroy? She kept confusing the two guards...) lowered his weapon only after kicking the gun away from Anamaria's prone form. "Commodore." The lanky soldier seemed surprised to see his superior standing there, gun lying discarded on the floor at his feet. "Is everything well here?" Noticing the fellow officer lying unconscious on the bed, he let out an exhalation of surprise. Whether it was the fact that his wound was treated or just that he was there in the first place, Alicia couldn't tell. "Gillette..." He turned his attention back to Norrington. "Will he be alright?"

"He'll be fine." Murtogg (?) seemed to have not noticed her until she spoke up. "If I could have your gun, though..." Hopefully she could do it correctly. She'd never treated an injury more severe than the usual scrapes of a clumsy child. Though, she was rather eager to try, she was just as wary of doing so on a living person.

Norrington nodded his consent. "Mr. Murtogg, if you'd be so kind." The soldier gave him the long weapon, obviously eager to please. "Thank you." The Commodore acknowledged, before giving Alicia the gun's volatile black powder.

Cautiously, she removed the bandage covering the wound, revealing to them for the first time the true nature of their comrade's injury. She heard Murtogg gulp and take a step back. With as steady a hand she could muster, she poured the gunpowder along the open flesh, standing and stepping back herself when she finished. "I'll need something to light it with." When no response came she faced them. "I said I'll need to light it. The powder's not doing any good just sitting there."

Norrington was the first to react. Retrieving a lit candle from the desk (one of the few points of illumination in the room), he handed it to her, being careful not to spill the wax onto either her or her patient. He then took a position beside Murtogg, watching her ministrations keenly.

The raven—haired teen swallowed nervously as she returned to the task at hand. She pushed her glasses up habitually, before touching the candle's flame to the edge of the powder. The spark it caused made her jump back, startled.

The flare was bright but brief. It fizzled out in seconds, leaving a red, burned mark, following the shape of the gunpowder. The bleeding, nevertheless, was no longer an issue. 'As long as no one reopened the area.' Pride filled her, knowing she succeeded in her mission. Her jovial countenance faded, however, when she turned to face the British officers and her eyes landed on Anamaria's figure instead.

Remembering the female pirate's prior collapse, and hoping she still had a chance to make it; Alicia hurried the woman's lifeless body. Both men stepped aside as she rushed past them. "Help me move her to the bed." She knew it wasn't wise to move someone when she didn't know the extent of their injuries, but there was little other choice. "But carefully. I helped your man, now help me help her..." She only prayed they could get over their stiff—necked hatred of pirates to assist her in saving a life.

Murtogg, the ever obedient soldier, knelt beside Alicia and lifted The Black Pearl's first mate into his arms. He rose unsteadily to his feet, nearly falling. Commodore Norrington led him to the other side of the bed, helping the other officer lower her gently to the mattress 'Or whatever the pirates use for mattresses'.

As the two men stepped back, Alicia checked on Ana's condition. She started with the basics... First, the breathing; it was shallow but present. Though it sounded like she could have blood in her lungs, she couldn't do anything about it, so she moved on. 'Besides observation is first and foremost.' Reminding herself didn't help the guilt much... "She saved me. Now it's the time to return the favour." 'If I can...'

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Well, this is getting more morose than I had planned, sorry. It wasn't supposed to be this way. I don't know why my PBs (Plot Bunnies) feel the need to jerk me around like this... It can be quite infuriating. And I know that this is getting OoC... But bear with me, alright?

To those of you looking for more Jack: don't worry... He's on his way. Ana's in trouble, of course he'll be there! And quite cross with anybody who gets between them.

_**(-Cue Hellsing Theme-)**_

Telomeric: You forgot that again last chapter...

Me: **_(-Yawns-)_** Did I? Oh, well... I'm tired... You guys can finish this off by your onesies, right?

Telomeric: Sure!

**Disclaimer:** None of these characters (besides herself and Alicia/DD) belong to GG. They belong to their respective affiliates. And Fire—Claw and I belong to her (As in Fire) Man I'm whipped... Oh well... Netalak is his own Shadow.

Please read and review... GG is a review whore. She'll write nearly anything to get reviews! (-Looks around nervously-) She didn't hear that, did she?... No? Good! Feedback is a necessary part of the writing process. Without it, she'll just keep making the same mistakes, over and over, and over and over and... You get the picture.

THE END!

Ed: Ooo... Kitty! Can I pet you again?

Telomeric: **_(-Shrugs-)_** alright... **_(-Rolls over to get his belly scratched-)_**

Now that that's done, Ta!

Fire—Claw: Wow, you kept it short...

Telomeric: Why can't you let me have the last word?

Fire—Claw: Because your idea of a last word is a question.

Telomeric: A rhetorical question.

Fire—Claw: Fine have the last word...

Telomeric: Thank you.

Fire—Claw: Just make it a good one.

Telomeric: If you'd let me...

Telomeric: **_(-Satisfied-)_** Good. My Last word is:

Mary—Sue! The name of the story type.

Fire—Claw: Technically, your last word would have been type...

Telomeric: Fine! **_MARY—SUE_**!

_**(-Imaginary curtains close, cordoning off the Felines and Ed from readers-)**_


	8. From Foe to Friend?

Step by step, Alicia made a thorough examination of the cataleptic pirate. Aside from the bullet hole in her chest —— which seemed to have missed the heart by millimetres —— the woman had no signs of other injury. Which meant that all Alicia had to do was remove the bullet from Anamaria's chest —— while making sure not to hit anything vital —— as well as any bone fragments from ribs that the metal ball may have hit on it's way in. Then it was only a matter of resealing the wound and hoping that the bullet didn't do too much damage to her lung.

'Yeah, easier said than done.' Alicia wiped away the sweat that began forming on her brow. 'Well, I've gotta start somewhere...' The first step in anything is to gather the needed supplies. "I'm going to need... Um... some cloth... Some... Something like chopsticks or something. Tweezers?" She wasn't surprised by their confusion... "Uh... I'll need more gun powder later. And—"

Her bewildering list was interrupted by the sound of a gun being cocked from across the room. "What 're you doing?" Jack's swoonable voice was not as enticing it should have been. 'Right now, I'm too preoccupied to think anything is sexy.' "Hands on your heads." His gun focussed on the three soldiers, one at a time 'Even the comatose one.' Recognition flashed through his eyes as he noticed his first mate's prone form. "What happened to her?" His voice was near panic.

"She got caught by a stray bullet." Alicia didn't want any more bloodshed. Two patients were enough for her to deal with. "I'm going to take care of her." She added a silent 'I hope' to the end of that. "I'll need some cloth, to clean up the wound." Logic was key. By listing the steps she would take with the materials, she'd not only convince them of what she needed, but she might just convince herself that could do it. "Some hot, clean water, to clean the wound with... Knife to open the area enough to get the bullet out..." She ticked the items off on her fingers. "Alcohol, I'll need it to clean the knife and my hands. Lets see... Something to pull the bullet out with. A pair forceps, or... A magnet might work, the bullets _are_ iron, right?" They just stared, listening attentively, but not quite understanding that last bit. "I _will_ need gun powder to seal the injury when I'm done... And some strips of cloth. I may have to wrap it up even after I cauterize the area. Just to be sure."

She wasn't sure what else she could do... Jack had left when she listed the cloth strips, and was back within moments with the alcohol, cloth (both thin strips and semi—clean towels), and small jar of gunpowder. His balance was incredible; he was able to keep equilibrium even with the pile of fabric, and containers. Still, she wasn't nearly as fazed as she normally would have been...

Norrington helped the captain with the lumbering load. Murtogg seemed unwilling to aid a criminal, choosing rather, to stand back and watch. "Your men have been returned to their ship. My crew won, like I knew we would." His words were directed to the Commodore, but his focus was on the red—coat. "If you want to go back to your '_Dauntless_' then do so now. If not... Then we'll drop you off at the next port."

Murtogg made haste to the door, trying to look less eager than he felt (and failing miserably). Norrington watched him leave, his features unreadable. Once the soldier was gone, he turned back to Alicia. "What can I do to help?" His sincerity caught her by surprise. She wasn't used to such honour. 'I guess chivalry isn't dead yet...'

"Um..." It felt discomfiting to command adults. Even as a bully, she never had this much control. 'And this control is from respect...' "Get the water. Jack, uh... How close were —— are —— you to Anamaria?" According to fanon, they were lovers, but it was better to be sure.

Jack didn't seem to think that way. "What does it matter?" His voice was defensive. She would have deemed it OoC had she not heard it for herself. She hoped that it meant they were a pairing.

'Might as well explain myself. That way he may actually tell me.' She sighed and elucidated her prior inquiry. "I need to know if I should kick you out while I tend to her. I doubt she'd like it very much if you saw her without her shirt on if you aren't her..." With any luck, he got the idea and she wouldn't have to spell it out for him.

"I've seen her in less." The finality in his voice left no doubt that the discussion was over. Letting the subject drop, she cut the white shirt, growing ever redder, from the hole in Anamaria's chest. She felt her face redden with a blush as she exposed the woman's scarred breasts.

"Um... I'm going to have to cut the hole open a bit more... I need to be able to see what I'm doing and reach the bullet." She wasn't quite sure whether she was warning him or herself, but felt she had to say it anyway. "I'll need the alcohol to sterilize the knife before I begin." Her eyes locked with his meaningfully.

He handed her the required materials obediently. Norrington returned with the hot, clean water, setting the bucket beside her and stepping back. The procedure went on in silence, aside for her requests for various items. Jack and Norrington, seemingly forgetting their animosity, stood side by side, motionless. The only movement in the room was Alicia's, and occasionally the other two, handing her supplies.

After two hours, which seemed to all present to be an eternity, the teen stood, taking a step back. Holding up a small, bloody, silver ball, she turned triumphantly to the pair. "Well, here's the bullet. Now all I have to do is close the wound... Here, take this." She held the bullet out to Jack. He took it, looking at it with a mixture of curiosity and disgust. ""And can I have the cloth strips and gunpowder now?" Norrington held out a handful of strips and the jar of powder to her.

"What are you plannin' on doing with that?" Jack pointed to the gunpowder, as if realizing for the first time that she was going to use it on Anamaria.

Much to Alicia's surprise, Norrington placed a reassuring hand on Jack's shoulder. 'Wow, do I have James Norrington's personality profile completely wrong.' "It's quite alright, I assure you. She preformed the same procedure on one of my men to stop the bleeding." Removing his hand from Jack's shoulder, Norrington gestured towards the unconscious soldier's form.

It took a moment for Alicia to get over the shock. Following the Commodore's gesture, however, her eyes landed upon the fallen first mate. The sight of the pirate woman, insides exposed for all to see, snapped her back to reality. "Do you have a needle and thread?" Her inquiry broke the awkward silence that followed Norrington's words, startling both men. Jack hurried out the door, presumably in search of the requested supplies, leaving Alicia once more alone with Norrington and her patient.

The silence seemed to stretch on. Until Jack returned, Alicia could do nothing more for Anamaria. She and Norrington just stared at each other for a few moments, not saying anything.

"I apologise, I forgot to introduce myself..." Norrington was the first to break the silence. "My name is Commodore James Norrington, of the British Royal Navy. I am in charge of the military force at Port Royal." He held his hand out to her.

She took his hand, shaking it before he could do the overly chivalrous thing and kiss her knuckles. Laughing inwardly at the surprise on his face, she introduced herself. "My name is Alicia Abraham. I'm a Junior in High School. I don't really have any special rank, or even a job for that matter, but I do..." Her rambling was cut off as Jack entered with the needle and thread in hand.

He handed her the supplies, nervousness plain as day on his face. Jack returned to his place along the wall, as did Norrington. It was all up to Alicia; whether Anamaria lived or died was on her.

-----+-----

-.--. . -. -.. --- ..-. -.-. ... .- .--. - . .-. ... . ...- . -.. -.--.-

Wow, I know I took a hell of a long time with updating this, but I have my excuses. A member of my family died, My Comp crashed for a while, and I've been working. There's more, but I won't go into details...

I'm going to keep this skit short, too. (Try to get on with the next chapter)

**Fire Claw:** Fat chance of that happening... Don't you still have about a dozen books you have to finish from the library? And then there's that large stack of Animes you have yet to watch... Then there's——

**Me:** I think they got the picture...

**Fire Claw:** Oh, and don't you work tomorrow, and the rest of the week for that matter?

**Me:** I'll still do my best to update as fast as I can, okay?

**Fire Claw:** ...

Anyway, thank you for you patience.

**Telomeric:** Not that they had much of a choice, really...

**_(-Cue Hellsing theme-)_**

**Scully:** **_(-Groaning in annoyance-)_** I thought it was all just some horrid nightmare... It's been so long, I was hoping it wasn't real...

**Mulder:** So, is that pretty Muse here this time?

**Me:** Nope. But Scully is... **_(-Points to agitated former fed-)_**

**Mulder:** **_(-Nervously-)_** Hehehe... I was only kidding, you know. I... I... I'm outta here! **_(-Turns and runs out of sight as fast as possible-)_**

**Ed:** **_(-Confused-) _**Where's he going?

**Jack Sparrow:** My guess is he's trying to avoid the wrath of an irate mate. An activity I know all too well...

**Ed:** **_(Realization dawning)_** Oh... he was bad and is trying to escape punishment.

**Telomeric:** Yup. And now he's running away from the severe beating he's bound to get for having wandering eyes.

**Jack:** Tha's pretty much the gist of it...

**Ed:** Well then, I'll go find him... You can count on Ed! **_(-Salutes-)_**

**Me:** I think that's the signal to end the skit. The next chapter will be out shortly...

**Telomeric:** Promises, promises...

**Me:** Shut up, you. And to all my loyal fans, please review this chapter. Your input is the caffeine that keeps me up all night writing. Keep reviewing, I'll keep comin' out with new chapters.

**/  
****(-)(-)  
****> **

**Telomeric:** Cute Bunny... However, you realize the likelihood of anybody seeing it in it's proper format is slim to none, don't you? Might as well give up on the kawaii little thingies, they'll never turn out right on FF.N (or any other online writer group for that matter).

**Me:** Anyway, the end.

**Telomeric:** You don't really want to go through this again, do you?

_**(-Silence-)**_

**Telomeric:** Good! The end!


	9. Red Is Such A Useful Colour

Alicia took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. She stood over Anamaria's exposed chest, needle and thread in hand. Every second felt both too short and too long... Her heart was racing, fear giving her an adrenaline rush. It was the first time she used a needle on someone else. The closest thing she came to sewing a wound closed was sewing under the first layer of skin on her hand to make cool designs... Now she was going to have to sew someone's chest back together... Her body went on automatic, threading the needle and sewing the pirate's wound closed.

Before she knew it, she had finish closing up the skin. The white thread of the stitches was stark contrast to the darkness of her skin. She sighed with relief, giving herself —— as well as her patient —— a second to recover before cauterizing the area.

Carefully, as if the volatile material would explode without fire as a catalyst, Alicia poured the black powder along the stitches. "Fire..." She turned to the men. "I need fire." She held her hand out expectantly. Norrington retrieved the candle Alicia used on his lieutenant. He handed it to her with the same caution he had used on his own man.

Even though she'd done it before, and knew what to expect, she still jumped slightly, startled by the sudden spark. After the gun powder fizzled out, all that remained was a charred scar where once there was an open wound. The sable haired teenager covered the area with the cloth strips, and pulled the blanket on the bed high enough to cover the woman's exposed breasts. She then turned back to the two men. "Only time will tell now." She prayed to the gods that her attempts weren't in vain, or even worse, caused more harm. "I think it would be best if we left her to rest for now." She stepped away from the bed just as a wave rocked the ship.

Alicia's already unsteady balance left her. She fell backwards, banging her head on the base of the bed with a thunk. "Ow!" She pushed herself into a sitting position. "By the Gods, that hurt..." She rubbed her aching head, blinking to get rid of the spots that clouded her vision. "Unh, I really have no place being on a ship." Her vision cleared, showing her the concern on both men's faces. "'M fine..." Using the bed as support, she rose shakily to her feet. "It's just my first time on a ship." With some assistance from the two sailors (and the support of various pieces of furniture), she made it to the table. She (very ungracefully) plopped down into one of the ornate seats, Jack and Norrington sitting themselves on either side of her.

"Now that we have some time —— I take it neither of your patients will be awake any time soon —— why don't we get to know each other a bit better, aye?" Jack gave one of his swoon—worthy grins, gesticulating in his usual manner.

"I'm not one to agree with a pirate, or even socialize with one. However, in this case at least, I believe he is, for once, correct. There are some things I would like to know about you. Such as where are you from? Where did you study medicine? And more importantly, why are you on this ship?" Norrington leaned forward slightly as he made his enquiry. His usually perfect posture was... well, less than perfect...

Alicia stuttered, unable to form more than a simple "Um... well... you see..." The nervousness that her DD side was pushing back while she was helping her patients faded. Her self—confidence melted away like wax on a candle. "I'm from... Somewhere. And I've always been fascinated with medicine. Ever since I first saw Scully do an autopsy. I've been doing my own private research. Though, my preference is the occult. I wanted to be a preternatural investigator..." Her cheeks reddened with a blush at the shock and fascination on Norrington's face. Jack just laughed.

"What's this, Commodore? You can' have the lovely Elizabeth, so you're playing the field as it were?" _'Wow. He's so different in person than I had imagined. I have everything so wrong.'_ "Did you think that she'd be impressed with you if you pretended to show interest in her hobbies? Hmmh. If you're **that** desperate for... pleasurable company, we could always leave you in Tortuga." Alicia's face reddened even more.

She could picture herself as an Anime character, blushing at anything even remotely perverse. _'With Jack here, I'm going to end up passing out from all the blood rushing to my head'_ "I... I, um... That is..." _'Talk much, or just stumble a lot?'_

Norrington glared at Jack from across the table. "Not that it's any of your business, but I do not partake in such filthy acts. Unlike _you_," He spoke the word with venomous emphasis, "I don't sleep with every woman I com in contact with." The disgust was almost palpable. "Do you really think you're God's gift to women?"

Jack put on a mask of mock outrage. "Why, of course I don't!" His lips pulled back into a Cheshire grin. "I don't _think_ I'm God's gift to women... I know I am. God's gift to men, too." He winked at Norrington over the table. "Wha's wrong? Jealous?"

Alicia sunk as low into her chair as she could. She could see herself as Tohru Honda, from "Fruits Basket", and Norrington and Jack as Yuki—kun and Kyou—kun. Cat and rat, glaring at each other from across the table, the only thing standing between them is one timid girl...

-----+\\\\\+-----

-.--. . -. -.. --- ..-. -.-. ... .- .--. - . .-. . .. ... - -.--.-

Uh, oh... I think I've been watching too much Anime... Alicia's becoming Chibi 'Licia—chan. DunDunDun...

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah!

Yay! This update didn't take long at all...

**Telomeric:** That's what you think...

**Me:** yeah, well... I'll think what I want.

**Fire Claw:** Is there really a point to this story?

**Me:** Yeah, but I can't tell you what it is... That would ruin the surprise!

**Telomeric:** That probably means that you don't know the point either. And are making this up as you go along.

**Me:** So what if I am?

**Netalak:** You know, you left me out of the last skit. Last few skits, actually...

**Scully:** Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Be thankful she _didn't_ include you in her insanity.

**Me:** Okay, I'm tired... It's already six hundred hours _(6:00 AM, for all you civvies)_ and I've been up for nearly twenty four hours. I need some sleep... **_(-ZZZZZZZZZZ-)_**

**Telomeric:** Geez, can you believe this? Falling asleep in the middle of writing her fic... Oh, well. I guess that leaves me in charge.

**Netalak:** How do you figure that?

**Telomeric:** ... Oooo... Pretty background.

**Netalak:** What _are_ you talking about?

**Telomeric:** Her computer's background... Kira from "Fruits Basket"

**Netalak:** _That_'s it. I've got to cut her off... **_(-To my sleeping form-)_** No more Anime for you!

**Shigure—sama (-From Fruits Basket-): **Now why would you want to do that? **_(-Sees background-)_** Hey, that is nice... So Kawaii...

**Fire Claw: **She's way too young for both of you!

**Telomeric and Shigure—sama (-In unison-): **I know that! I meant she was little onee—chan kawaii!

**Me: _(-Wakes up from all the noise-)_** Hey, can't you see I'm trying to get my beauty sleep!

**Telomeric: _(-Muttering under his breath-)_**You need all the help you can get...

**Me: **_What_ was that?

**Telomeric: _(-Nervously-)_** Nothing!

**Me:** **_(-Yawns-)_** Anyway, Read and Review... None of the characters (aside from Alicia Abraham, Dark Denizen, and myself) belong to me. Telomeric and Fire Claw belong to Fire Claw; Netalak belongs to the Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the Fourth fanclub, **_(-Ahem-)_** I mean himself; and everyone else belongs to their rightful affiliates. I'm no mouse, so I don't own everyone's favourite pirate... Wish I did, but I don't...

**Telomeric:** Just go back to sleep, I'll finish this.

**Me:** **_(-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-)_**

**Telomeric:** She sounds like a baby pit—bull growling...

**Fire Claw:** You know, you snore, too...

**Telomeric:** Just let me have the last word...

**_(-Silence...-)_**

**Telomeric:** Thank you... The End!

**Shigure—sama:** You don't have to yell...

**Telomeric:** Noooo...!

**Shigure—sama:** I said, please lower your voice.

**Fire Claw:** No you didn't. Actually, you said "You don't have to yell..."

**Telomeric:** **_(-In a hushed tone-)_** Nooooo...!

**Shigure—sama:** Thank you.

**Telomeric:** **_(-Angry glare-)_** Grrr...

**Kyou—Kun (Also from "Fruits Baskets"):** Meow.

**Telomeric:** **_(-Still Hushed-)_** Argh!

**Me:_ (-In my sleep-)_** Please Read and Review—kun. Leave a review at the door on your way out, thank you for riding the purplemonkeydishwasher express... Goodbye... **_(-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-)_**


	10. Open Mouth, Insert Foot

**Telomeric:** Since I couldn't have the last word last time, I'm going to have the first word this time...

**Me:** that doesn't make any sense... And what are you doing in my author's note?

**Telomeric:** Didn't you hear me? I'm getting the first word in.

**Me:** **_(Anime sweatdrop-)_** Whatever, on with the story...

**Telomeric:** Yes on with the story...

**Me:** Even if you get the last word in now, there's going to be a whole story after that. So you may want to save your efforts for a later time.

**Telomeric:** **_(-Pouting-) _**Fine.

**Me:** And _now_ for the story.

MARY SUE CHAPTER NINE

**Telomeric:** Why is it all caps?

**Me:** This is not an MST, so StFU until the story is over, okay!

**Telomeric:** ...

**Me:** Good. Let's try this again.

MARY SUE CHAPTER NINE

_**(-Silence-)**_

Alicia sat between the two men, who glared at each other across her. Well, Norrington glared at Jack; while Jack just smirked. She sunk as low as she could in the ornamental chair, not wanting to be there. The tension was almost palpable, and Alicia wished she were back on the other side of the story; writing rather than participating. She sunk even lower, until, "Thump!" She slipped right out of the chair and whacked her head on the edge of the table and then the seat.

Both men's focus turned to her, sitting (once more) on the floor, rubbing her sore head. "Are you alright, miss?" The teen rolled her eyes; though whether from pain or sarcasm, even she couldn't tell. Jack just sat there laughing.

"Luv, you're right about one thing. You have no balance on the open sea." She gave him a sour look, which only succeeded in causing more laughter. "It's little wonder Anamaria found you near dead in the middle of the ocean." He became serious again; so quickly that she wondered if any of his emotions were even real. "What were you doing out there, anyway? We didn't see another ship for leagues. And, no offence, but you don't seem that good a swimmer."

As Jack was speaking, Norrington helped her back into her seat. She could see the curiosity on both of their faces. But what could she say? She didn't know how she got there herself. "I honestly don't know. One minute I was asleep in my own bed; the next, here I am, waking up on a ship. I wish I knew myself how I got here. The first step in retracing your steps is knowing what steps you've taken." Norrington was staring at her, his emotions unreadable. Jack seemed to take her story to heart; storing it away for a later time.

"Aye, that is true. But if all you want is to do is go back home, I'll be happy enough to give you a ride to any port you'd like." Jack seemed so... sane. "That is, unless you can't get to where you're from on a ship..." His cryptic comment stunned Alicia. Did he know that she's not from his century? Or was he just grasping at straws; making something up for the sake of shock value...

She was speechless. How could she respond? How did he _expect_ her to react? Luckily, Norrington saved her from having to answer. "Perhaps you can leave her at Port Royal when you drop me off. I doubt she'd want to spend any longer than necessary on this... pirate ship. I'll make sure she gets safe passage home on a more appropriate vessel." Jack's laugh was not completely unexpected, though it still made her blush.

"What? Are you afraid I'd take advantage of such a sweet, innocent, little poppet?" Alicia's face felt like it might spontaneously combust. _If only. Not only would I get away from this situation; but I'd also die a preternatural death._ Her mind slipped from the present situation, to a more pleasant inner dialogue about paranormal and supernatural phenomenon. From SHC, her thought train moved on to Psychic Surgery. The idea of being able to fix organs without incisions made her think of Psychic Killers. Instead of healing without incisions, killing by removing organs... without leaving a single mark on the body...

Her thought train followed those tracks for quite a while. She completely forgot where she was; and even who she was with; in favour of the company of her random thoughts. Jack and Norrington's conversation went on without her. In fact, she not only left the conversation, but she left the world behind, as well; in favour of her own little fantasy world. Jack splashed her with some of the remaining hot water (which wasn't really that hot anymore) from the bucket she used while she was treating Anamaria. It wasn't until Jack snapped her out of it that she realized she was still on the Black Pearl. Her blush returned, full force. "So, where were you just now? Imagining our good friend Norrington usin' his tongue for something other than talkin?" He winked at her; that sexy, swoonable, suggestive, CJS smirk across his face. "Or perhaps, you had someone else in mind. Maybe you aren't really as respectable as the good Commodore here thinks, aye?" She was growing increasingly tired of blushing. Though, try as she might, she couldn't help it; not with the way Jack was talking.

It took her a moment before she could respond. When she could, she tried to sound as irritated as she could. "I assure you, I do not fancy you doing anything with my body." At the look of contentment on Norrington's face, she turned to him, adding "Either of you. Is that clear enough?" Norrington nodded; Jack looked at her as if she was some strange new species. "For you," She directed the conversation (as well as her posture) back to the pirate. "I wouldn't want to do anything with you for three reasons." She began ticking her reasons off on her fingers. "One: You reek of alcohol. I really hate alcohol. I never drink it and never will. Two: You're dirty. I don't mean the type of dirty that a good bathing would fix. I mean that you've been around so much, who knows what you've picked up. You could have more diseases than a research facility... That... works with diseases..." Jack was staring at her with a strange look on his face; as was Norrington. Their expressions made her defensive. "Do you know if the people you've been with were all clean? Have either of you heard of practicing safe sex?"

Both men held bemused expressions. "Well, miss... Abraham, was it? I can not speak for mister Sparrow here; however, I do not participate in sexual relations. Nor will I; until I am married." Norrington's voice held an air of... aristocracy. "Also, you seem to have forgotten your third reason." His comment confused Alicia for a moment.

"Oh! Yeah, that. My third reason's over there." She pointed towards the bed. Two pairs of eyes followed her gesture. Jack raised one of his eyebrows in curiosity. "Where I'm from, there are a lot of stories. Many of those stories are about Jack Sparrow and the Black Pearl. And a number of those... tales" She had to keep herself from using the term fanfics. "are about Jack and his first mate. There are a lot of people who think you and Ana are a... pairing. You know, you and Anamaria romantically involved... I wouldn't want to interfere with an OTP."

A DD—like smirk nearly slipped past her lips at their confusion. _It's a shame I can't tell them the whole truth. But the Prime Directive **clearly states** that I cannot tell someone from the past about the future... _ Norrington voiced the question that the teen was sure was on both men's mind. "What does OTP mean? Is it some strange ranking system from your homeland?" At his words, Alicia was unable to keep her humour in. She couldn't help but laugh; that laugh that says 'I know something you don't know...'

Jack narrowed his eyes, looking at her warily. "That's no' what it means, is it? I'll take a stab at guessing the meaning... Obviously True Pair. Am I correct?" He looked back to his first mate, almost as if he were worried she was listening in. He didn't even wait for a response before continuing. "I don't know where you get your information; but it's wrong. Anamaria and I are not in any relationship. Besides, of course, the one between Captain and First Mate; and that of friends." His countenance appeared nervous, every time his gaze turned towards the unconscious pirate.

"Friends with benefits, perhaps?" Her hand went to her mouth. She hadn't meant to say that. The words were out before she could stop them. "I'm sorry... I meant that you and Anamaria had sex, even though you claim to just be friends." That was foolish of her; using a modern term... _Makes me wish I'd done more research on the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries..._ Not that she could do anything about her temporal ineptitude at the present time. She'd just have to make due with what little she did know. The rest of her idiosyncrasies, she'd just have to pretend were due to being from another country.

-----+\\\\\+-----

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**Telomeric:** That was far too short for taking so long.

**Fire Claw:** And you helped how? I don't remember you doing anything more than adding an annoying distraction.

**Me:** Yeah! Your bothersome banter at the beginning of the chapter broke my concentration and ruined the flow of the story.

**Netalak:** I highly doubt that. You just were lazy and too busy with your new Mangazine.

**Me:** **_(-Extremely Happy-)_** Yeah... I love my Mangas and my Mangazines... **_(-Still happy, but now with some indignation-)_** But I just got it today! I've been procrastinating for way longer than a few measly hours.

**Fire Claw: **Procrastinating?

**Me:** I mean... Um... I meant I was _busy_ for longer than the length of time I had my Mangazine.

**Telomeric:** Uh huh. Somehow I don't feel too convinced.

**Me:** Yeah? Well... You're still not helping either of us.

**Fire Claw:** Yes. You both are slackers. And as such, I believe disciplinary actions must be taken.

**Sailor Moon**: As the warrior of Love and Justice, I will punish you. **_(-Looks around-)_** Who needs to be punished?

**Netalak: _(-Burst out laughing-)_** That... That is just too much! HaHaHa... You brought in that sailor stupid? You've _got_ to be kidding...

**Sailor Moon:** Hey! Who are you calling stupid?

**Telomeric:** Since you're the only one in a Sailor costume; I'd say you.

**Sailor Moon:** **_(-Looks down at her costume, then at everyone else-)_** Oh, so I am. (-Starts crying-) You're so meeeeaaaannnn...!

**Fire Claw:** **_(-Calmly, as if she were unfazed-) _**Do you mind doing something about this?

**Me:_ (-Yelling to be heard over the whining-)_** What! Oh her! Yeah, hold on! **_(-Takes out a remote control.-) _**Here! **_ (-Presses mute button-)_**

_**(-Sailor Moon continues to whine, tears still streaming from her eyes, but no sound is emitted.-)**_

**Telomeric:** **_(-Still yelling-)_** Thank you! **_(-Quieter-) _**Thank you.

**Me:** **_(-Blows the end of the remote like the barrel of a gun-)_** No problem.

**Fire Claw:** That's not what I meant. **_(-With a hint of distain-)_** She's soaking my fur in her tears.

**Me:** Whatever.

_**(-Sailor Moon disappears.-)**_

**Fire Claw:** **_(-Starts cleaning herself-)_** Thank you.

**Me:** Yeah. Um... **_(-Turns toward the reader-) _**None of the characters you recognise belong to me (unless, of course you recognise me from my other skits). The only people I own are myself, Alicia Abraham, and Dark Denizen.

Disclaimer: Oh, that _was_ the disclaimer... I guess the only thing left to say is Read and Review.

**Telomeric:** Then can I still have the last word?

**Me: _(-Rolls eyes-)_**Fine... Whatever...

**Telomeric: _(-Smugly-)_**Thank you. The End.

_**(-Fire Claw opens her mouth to say something but at Telomeric's glare she shuts up with a smirk-)**_


	11. No Shitte Sherlock

The three talked for hours; Alicia tactfully steered the conversation away from her or her origins. Until she knew exactly why she was in the past, the less they knew, the better.

The hazy grey sky outside turned to a velveteen indigo. The moon rose up from the watery horizon. Sometime while they were talking, the clouds and fog had lifted, allowing for a myriad of stars to fill the window.

"Are we going northwest, by any chance?" From her position at the table, she could see perfectly the flawless silver sphere climbing up from the waterline. The surprise on both men's faces was plain as day. She laughed at their shock; then explained how she knew. "Since the moon rises from the east; and that window" She pointed towards the window across the table from her. "is directed towards the rising moon. Then obviously, the window is facing east at the moment. Captain Sparrow's cabin is on the left, or port, side of the ship. That means that this cabin —— which I'm guessing is Anamaria's? —— would be on the right, or starboard, side. The fact that the windows are at the aft and starboard sides only confirms this. As such, we must be headed to the northwest. If I remember the map of the area correctly, then logically, we can be heading to only one place. Tortuga!" As she was explaining, she started gesticulating eagerly, proud of her deductive reasoning. By the end of her elucidation, she was on her feet, pointing at the moon through the open window.

Her glasses slid down her nose, and instinctively, she pushed them up with her left hand. Unfortunately for her, that was the hand she had slammed down on the table and was using to support herself. As her hand moved to the bridge of her glasses, the Pearl hit a large wave, once again knocking her off her feet. She landed on her bottom with a thump, thankfully missing any furniture this time. She just sat there for a moment, staring at the table looming over her as if it held the keys to the universe. "Um, yes, well... Just because I have the balance of a one legged horse, doesn't mean that I don't know how to do simple deductive reasoning." She pushed he glasses back up her nose —— as they'd gone askew in the fall —— and lifted herself back into her seat. "So was I right?"

Norrington looked to Jack questioningly; as if to ask 'We're not _really_ going to that island of ill repute... Are we?' The pirate completely ignored him, instead focussing his attention on Alicia. "Actually, love, you forgot one place. Well... You probably didn't forget it since it's doubtful you've ever even heard of it. We're going to get some treasure, savvy?" He leaned in closer to her, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "Now, don' get frightened, love, but we're going to a place so terrible, it's called the—"

"The Island of the Dead? You mean we're going to Isla De Muerta!" Her excitement made her eyes glimmer in the moonlight. She was actually going to get to see the cursed place for herself; in real life! Only when she saw the look the two men exchanged, did she realize that she shouldn't have known about such a place's existence. "Sorry, I've heard tales..." Her voice took on a story telling air. "Zombies and ghosts call that place home... Many honest (and not so honest) men searched for it. Most never made it back to port." She decided to embellish a bit. After all, she wanted them to believe that all she knew is stories about it. "I heard that the dead walk, patrolling the shore. The rotting flesh just drips from their bones as they guard their treasure from potential thieves." The other two appeared unnerved at the level of description she put into her tale. Or perhaps they were just disturbed by the gleam in her eyes as she spoke of such morbid things... "Do you think we'll get to see an evil spirit? Maybe we'll have to fight with an army of undead soldiers in order to obtain the treasure." She turned to Jack, grey—green eyes seemingly huge through her glasses. "Did you have to fight them when you were there? After all, you can't find the place unless you've been there before, right?" _I think I did a pretty good job at making them think I don't really know anything about the real Isla De Muerta..._

Norrington on the other hand, was less than eager to return to that island of death. "Are you quite certain you wish to return there? You have wounded aboard; as well as a young lady, who I highly doubt should be off gallivanting after treasure on a cursed island." His tone was so aristocratic that Alicia wanted to make him eat his words... _Maybe with a bit of hot sauce, just to spice things up_. Little white crescents were imprinted in the palm of her hand where she clenched her fists. She had to literally bite her tongue to hold back a few snide comments.

Jack, thankfully, saved her from the chance of doing something regrettable. "Mate, if'n you're scared; I can drop you off in Tortuga while we go to the island. I really don't care either way." He winked at Alicia, inciting a small laugh to escape her. "She doesn't seem too frightened to be goin'." He leaned across the table challengingly. "Are you more timorous than a young lass?" Norrington's face grew red, eliciting another snicker from the teen.

Norrington opened his mouth to respond, but Alicia cut him off at "I—" "I'm not the least bit scared. 'I ain't afraid of no ghost.' The only thing I fear is fear itself. And maybe bad mayonnaise2." Even Jack had a quizzical look on his face. "Never mind; inside joke." The confusion on their faces didn't abate. "Um... Anyways... When are we going to get there?" She knew she was sounding a bit like a little kid with 'Are we there yet?' but she couldn't help herself. _Besides, It keep those two from starting at it again. _If there was anything that was accurate about her profiling of the captain and commodore; it was their animosity towards each other...

Jack let it go, for now. "We should be there in a day and a half." His eyes met the Commodore's. "I will be expecting both of you to pull your weight. You may not like it, but this _is_ still my ship. You know what you're doing, so I'm going to be putting you to work." He gave Alicia a gold toothed smile and she felt as if she would faint. "Since you can't even stand; I'll leave you to care for those two." He gestured to unconscious pair in the bed. "I'm going to need them well enough to work as fast as possible." With one final glance at the full moon climbing the stars, he stretched and stood. "Well, it's gettin' late and I've got a ship I have to get back to. I suggest you both get some rest before tomorrow." As he walked out of the room, Alicia realized, for the first time, that his usual swagger was nearly nonexistent on the sea.

"_It's almost as if he follows the ebb of the tide; even when he's on dry land..."_ Her surprise came out with the whispered comment. She hadn't meant to say it aloud; she didn't even realize she did so, until Norrington commented on it.

"Yes. I may not like him —— and he's been a thorn in my side for quite a while —— but he is nonetheless a very capable seaman." The raven haired teen burst out laughing. Norrington's confusion only made her laughter louder. "What is so amusing?"

She was able to calm down to a snigger, forcing herself to steady her breaths. "Sorry... I just... Misinterpret that word... Seamen and Semen..." Her snigger grew to full fledged giggles. It took her a few moments to settle down. "Sorry... I... Never mind..." She finally stopped even snickering. A yawn forced its way out; she could hear her jaw crack from it. Her eyes watered, causing the room to waiver. "I think I'm going to sleep..." She removed her glasses, placing them on the table near her. With another large yawn, she crossed her arms on the table next to her glasses and lowered her head onto them.

The world went from a brown and blue blur to the black oblivion of slumber.

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1The thing about her biggest fear being bad mayonnaise is from a TV series known as Special Unit 2. It's about a special police force in Chicago (btw, I'm from Chicago and I hope the White Sox lose the Baseball finals thingy... I've never been one for teem spirit. I always root for the other team.), that deals with monsters. Kinda like Men In Black except that instead of being aliens, they're evolved from the missing link between man and monkey. Hence why they call them Links. Anyway, this particular episode, a scarecrow was (literally) terrorizing Chicago by making people's greatest fear become real. The main characters, Nick O'Malley and Kate Benson (kind of like Mulder and Scully of the Chicago PD), were discussing how it will turn your biggest fear against you and Nick said "What can I say? I don't have a greatest fear. Not bug, or bad mayonnaise or even dieing. I don't want to die, but I'm not afraid to. Otherwise I couldn't do what I do." So Kate replied crossly with "Fine. If you don't want to tell me what it is, then don't." So Nick, in his usual fashion, gave the witty retort, "Alright, I'll tell you... It's the bad mayonnaise."

In any case, that's the longwinded explanation about Alicia's little comment.

**Telomeric:** Emphasis on longwinded.

**Fire Claw: **Do you wish to copy Alicia's most recent activities in your fanfics?

**Me: **Yes, so I'll keep this short.

**Fire Claw:** I'm also guessing that's the reason that you're rambling.

**Me:** Sorry, was I?

**Telomeric:** You're doing it now...

**Me:** Fine... **_(-Yawn-)_** Read Review Enjoy... Did I forget anything?

**Telomeric:** Yes! Letting me have the last word!

**Me: **Fine... Have it so I can go to sleep. **_(-Is suddenly in my PotC cosplay pyjamas, with my Alucard plushie.-)_**

**Telomeric and Fire Claw:_ (-Anime Sweatdrop-)_**

**Telomeric: ** The End.

**Fire Claw: _(-Sneezes-)_**

**Telomeric: _(-Ahem-)_** Take care.

**Fire Claw:** Thank you.

**Telomeric:** 'Welcome. Now it's the END!


	12. Am I Still Dreaming?

A/N: You know what I feel is the hardest part of writing each chapter? Actually there are two parts. The first is getting started. I just look at the blank document and sigh, my mind just blanking out. Or when I'm having a great flow; you know, I'm just in a writing frenzy; then RL interrupts (like it did to Alicia) and I just can't get it back... That's happened to me so many times in this story thus far. I'm not giving up... No sir! I'm not even going to put it in cold storage like I've done with a number of my other ones. Even though I'm still not 100 sure where this story is headed, I'm kinda curious as to where it'll lead me.

I'm not sure if I'll do a skit this chappie. I started them out of the insanity caused by sleep deprivation. Now my annoying Onee-chan is insistent that I do one at the end of each chapter. She all but complained my ear off after the farce of a skit last instalment. To those of you who like the skits, tell me and I'll start 'em back up. If not, I'll cease and desist. Tell me either way, 'kay?

Now that that's over, I might as well put the disclaimer and stuff here, too.

Disclaimer: Nothing that's not Alicia Abraham (and Dark Denizen) is mine. I hold no claim over the PotC characters, places, etc, etc. Nor do I own any of the reference fandoms. I'll keep it rather general; who knew writing a fangirl character would end up causing so much annoying disclaimer stuff.

Any references that may cause confusion will have a superscript number (unless the site wants to be a little b17(h and ruin the formatting like it does for everything else), with a corresponding explanation at the end of the chapter. Any further confusion, ask away in either a review or an email. I can be reached at one of you've finished reading this fic, please review it. That little button at the bottom of the screen; the one that lets you post reviews; is just waiting for you to press it... Thank you and enjoy.

So, without further interruption; here's the next chapter:

MARY SUE: CHAPTER ELEVEN

Alicia awoke to her alarm. "Get up! Get up! It's morning! It is time to have breakfast and get ready for school!" She reached her arm out, flailing her hand around for the top of her little monkey alarm clock. Its mouth opened and closed, repeating the wake up message.

"Arhnn... Just five more minutes..." She gave a tired, whiny moan. She was still absolutely exhausted. That dream last night was so _not_ restful. A hushed pair of voices, talking nearby, caught her attention.

"Aye, Cap'n. Of course I trust ye. It doesn't mean yer righ'." She groaned inwardly. She was still dreaming. She reached again for her alarm clock, finding nothing; only air. The alarm went off on its own anyways... "'Tis bad luck havin' women aboard. Especially one who prays to _heathen_ Gods." She could recognize Gibb's voice. But where were they? And where was _she_? She felt a bed beneath her. But the two wounded sailors were using the bed. She was getting a headache trying to figure out what was going on. She chose, instead, to focus on observing.

"First off," Jack's voice drifted to her, "that _heathen_ saved Ana's life last night. I don't see the bad luck in _that_. Plus, it was because of her that the bloody commodore decided to stay aboard. And it was only by claiming him as a hostage that we were able to escape the rest of 'em." She smiled. She _must_ still be dreaming... How many times has a fangirl fantasized about Captain Jack Sparrow defending her? "We'll leave her at Port Royal. But only if she wants. I'm not forcing her to do anything she doesn't want t' do. Besides, what would you have me do? We're on our way to Isla de Muerta. There are no ports between here and there. Other than Tortuga that is. And I am not goin' to be responsible for leaving a young lass _there_." Gibbs made a sound best described as a snort. "Alright. Then what do you suggest I do?"

Alicia could feel Gibb's eyes bore into her back, making her glad she decided to pretend to remain asleep. "I say we leave her at Isla de Muerta. Leave the heathen to play with her heathen Gods." She had to stifle a gasp. Surely Jack wouldn't allow them to maroon her on that evil island. She could imagine the expression on the quartermaster's face; a mixture of fear and hatred. She felt a chill course through her at the thought.

"I most certainly will not!" The suddenness of Jack's outburst startled her. "If I won't leave her at Tortuga, where there are at least people, why would I allow you to leave her there? And, in case you've forgotten, I'm not that fond of the concept of marooning." His intonation in the last part clearly left no room for debate. The silence following it seemed almost tangible.

Through the quiet, she heard footsteps head towards the door, followed by the door opening and slamming shut. After another moment's silence, Jack directed his focus to Alicia's still form. "It's alright. He's gone." She turned to face him. "I've known you were awake awhile." She blinked, squinting to see his face less blurrily. She could identify movement, but couldn't tell what he was doing. "You may need these. They seem important." He walked towards the bed and handed her something familiar. She held her glasses up to her face. _Gods they're dirty..._ She tried cleaning them on the end of her shirt, but that only succeeded in dirtying them further.

"I don't mean to be a bother, but do you have any soft fabric that's at least mostly clean?" She looked at him through the smeared lenses, not even bothering to put them on. "I can't see a thing without my glasses, but with the smears, I can't see very well. It's like trying to look out of a dirty window." She closed her eyes, preferring the darkness behind her eyelids to the headache that was coming from the eyestrain.

Jack seemed to mistake her eyestrain for exhaustion. "It's still early yet. You should get some more sleep while you can. I'll have the Commodore help you to Anamaria's cabin." She heard him turn and take a few steps towards the door. "And I'll have him bring some clean linen as well."

"I'm not tired; just blind. I can't see without my glasses; and they're too dirty to see through, anyways. I get a headache trying to see without my glasses. That's the only reason for me closing my eyes." A yawn escaped her, controverting Alicia's prior insistence. "I swear I'm not" Another yawn interrupted her sentence. "I'm not tired."

Jack left the room quietly as the girl once again slipped from consciousness.

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That's it for now. And yay! No weird references; at least there weren't any in this chapter. As such, I'm done for now. Now it's time for me to go to sleep. Sorry it's so short at present, but I'm going to bed. I'll have another chapter done soon. Whether I can post it soon is another story. I'll update as soon as I get another chance to go online, 'kay?

Oh, and I'll be able to update sooner (at least the writing part of it) because I'm finally done! I've not only finished all the Mangas from the Library (those were done a while ago), but I've also finished watching the last of my Anime. No more for a while. Not until my Anime supplier gets around to bringing me some more that is. So the only distraction I've got (besides work) is the book The Historian, by Elizabeth Kostava. Great book, by the way. I really suggest reading it (when you've finished reviewing this, I mean).

Now that is that and this is done... Review, please. **_(-Puts on my Winamp list of all my new songs-)_** G'Night.


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